Citizen Zhiv on Clippers - Cavs
by Steve Perrin on Mar 11, 2009 2:38 PM PDT
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PrintThis is not something I do often - in fact, I'm not sure I've ever done it before. But this missive from Citizen Zhiv is too good to sit at the bottom of the comments section of some half-hearted game recap post - it deserves the light of day and the oxygen of the front page to let it breathe some. ClipperSteve.
Our fearless leader CS recommended that we settle in and gnaw on this bone for a few days, and I’m all for it. It was a fascinating experience. As always, I’m going to start by looking at the bright side.
1. Was this a heroic defeat that cost the Lakers the NBA championship?
Talk about a gift to Clipper fans. Let’s remember this game if Kobe and Phil and Pau and Lamar are getting on the jet to go back to Cleveland for game 7. You know how some close games, like this one for instance, are decided by a missed free throw or two (hey now, Zbo!) in the 3rd quarter? Obviously playoff seeding and home court are the same thing writ large. If, like any semi-self-respecting Clipper fan you have “conflicts with”—not to say hate—the Lakers and their entire ethos, then you don’t mind the fact that Cleveland won this game. In fact it’s a good thing. Keep telling myself that.
2. The Maestro of the Meltdown
Nobody does it better than Mike Dunleavy. I try to stay neutral on Dunleavy. And I believe that responsibility for a collapse should primarily rest on the players and their effort. But a coach determines lineups and can manipulate momentum and make key decisions and run plays and matchups. And Dunleavy has an uncanny ability, on a twisted sort of spectacular scale, to guide his teams unerringly through full blown nuclear 4th quarter collapses and meltdowns. Milph were mentioning weird stats last night—LeBron’s come from behind blocks (Baron Davis, you dog! outta here with weak breakaway!)—and I would put MDsr’s 4th quarter losses with leads of 10 or more up against anybody’s.
There was one obvious doofus move, and one trickier one. The obvious early stages of a collapse are not the time to leave a struggling Mike Taylor out on the floor. Let Baron Davis earn his money, and put the loss on him. That was the critical, classic Dunleavy giant mistake. Leaving Kaman in, even more disastrous, is complicated because Camby has fluid in his head, right?, and he wasn’t even supposed to be playing at all. So that could be a reasonable excuse (we’ll leave DeAndre Jordan out of this for a moment). But don’t you get the sense that that’s not what happened, that Dunleavy got excited after Kaman got the ball to actually go into the hoop a couple of times, and he was thinking, “Kaman’s gonna get a block or a rebound and a follow or he’ll create space for Zach and he’s gonna help us win this thing!” Umm, no, maestro, that’s not what’s going to happen. He’s going to turn the ball over. That's what Primitive Kaman (early Kaveman) does, and after sitting out almost 50 games, don’t kid yourself, that’s Primitive Kaman out there. But let’s remember #1, and choose to think that this particular Laker FU required some of the Maesto’s very best, inspired work.
3. Primitive Kaman
God I love that big fella, that lovable lug. Has any basketball player EVER been more funky than Chris Kaman? His level of artistry is truly astounding, humbling those of us who try to make do with the plodding futility of a poor facsimile like Nick Fazekas. Stanley Roberts and Benoit Benjamin were pretty funky, of course, back in the day, but they were just amusing fools in the end. Olowokandi was angry and he had a British accent, and his funk was joyless and cancerous. No one does it like Kaman. We don’t forget, of course, his inimitable style of inverse basketball, where left is right and right is left and the obvious path is up around and under, rather than straight to the goal. But perhaps my favorite thing is that we now know, after, what is it, 6 years of careful study, that his mind goes too fast, not too slow, and how that can be, well, kind of a big problem at times. Like the way you get a key offensive rebound at crunchtime and then, quick as lightning, spot an open player on the other side of the court and fire a fastball right at him. How crisp and determined was that bullet across the key that—who was it, Delonte West?—reached out so easily to intercept?! Only Primitive Kaman, the old purest stuff, just taken down from a lengthy stay on the shelf, throws that pass like that at that time. Having Primitive Kaman available for crunch time in this game was like giving the Maesto the perfect weapon of mass destruction.
4. How about that Al Thornton?
Interesting. Thornton didn’t exactly finish out playing the perfect game, but he was freaking great, and he was great for the specific reason that he was playing against the greatest player of all time. If there’s anybody who is worthy of cheesy superhero movie comparisons it’s obviously Lebron. It’s nuts what that guy does. There were the 4 or 5 amazing plays while the Cavs were getting schooled and missing every shot, and then there was the simple, effective, patient, lethal comeback. And Thornton was tough. He was better on defense than we’ve ever seen him—by a lot—, he was focused and athletic, rebounding and running. It was great. But Superhero Lebron was ultimately just toying with him I guess. The trick is to get Thornton to bring that kind of effort and energy when he goes up against mortals.
Lots to chew on, like I said.
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How is it possible to stay neutral on MDSr?
This is an example of a difficult decision that any self-respecting Clipper fan must make. You are either with him or against him, you cannot sit on the fence.
John R, to his credit, takes a stand.
Even CS, to his credit, has finally said he should be fired.
The Dunleavy era has run it's course
It is pretty hard to see things turning around with this coach and roster. And this is now his 2nd roster. He failed to win with the first one. I credit him with changing the culture…briefly. But in the end, I think he has been overwhelmed. He is looking bad these days.
I watch a lot of basketball. Maybe it is the audio on Prime Ticket, or the small crowd size for home games, but I don’t know if there is any other coach that is constantly barking at the players. He is what you call an “active coach”.
F-Elton!
Defining neutral
Thanks for the bump, CS—another feather in the zhivcap, the elusive "first comment bumped up to a post. I try.
And that’s what I believe I said: “I try to stay neutral on Dunleavy.” But I think Jax is right: how is that possible? And yes, CS took a memorable anti-Dunleavy stand, about 5 or 6 weeks ago I think it was, when the team hit one of many low points.
Is “attempted neutrality” different from pragmatism? We’re talking about the Clippers here. DTS is not going to pay Dunleavy to go away. The pragmatic approach is that Dunleavy is here now, and he’s going to be here next year, and he’s ridiculously twisted up at this point and has lost whatever effectiveness he might have had, so the best that we can expect is that he slides up to GM and hires a good coach.
But the other aspect of “attempted neutrality” is that I don’t want to blame Dunleavy for everything. I’m not very interested in the point of view of the late FireDunleavy.com. I think Bill Simmons does himself a disservice and hits all sorts of inconsistencies as he tries to lump the Clipper woes under “The Dumbleavy Era.”
And I keep coming back to the point I made that was actually highlighted by “The Great KA” (Clipperblog’s new sobriquet, as his brilliant effort at forcing David Thorpe to do his job may help Eric Gordon to win ROY), when he gave a very nice nod to our fearless leader’s manifesto on last week’s Clipperconundrum, Sterling’s Spring Fiasco 09. I said there that as bad as 15 wins and multiple double digit 4th quarter meltdowns look, “the Dumbleavy Era” is much better and more effective than earlier incarnations of the Clipper Follies. The Clippers have had plenty of 10-25 win seasons, but the really bad ones are when the problem is a lousy, horrible roster, and not injury excuses. Injury excuses are legitimate.
And by the way, has anybody mentioned the fact that the Maestro’s classic effort last night was against one of the two or three best teams in the league? It’s one thing to orchestrate a defeat in the 4th quarter against the Lakers in the Western Conference finals. It’s something very different to watch your team implode on the first night when you’ve got your full roster.
So yeah, Dunleavy was questionable in the first place and he has been overwhelmed by events. We would stick a fork in him, but we know he’s done, and besides that he’s not going anywhere. And that said, I think we need to put the pressure on Baron Davis and others to start playing basketball.. It was nice of Kaman to show up finally and treat us to his buffoonery. The bottom line is that Dunleavy is going to keep plugging away, and the responsibility is on the players now to get it together and win some games.
by citizen zhiv on Mar 11, 2009 5:54 PM PDT up reply actions
KA's Statement on ZBO and MDSr Tonight Is Poignant
I couldn’t agree more, including the thuggery reference Excerpt:
"Want to know where I fault Dunleavy? He’s the guy who brought in the personnel. He’s the person who fetishized Randolph’s 20-and-10 stat line and determined that this [see below] would translate into wins for a team in desperate need of players who can perform the workaday duties of the professional basketball player — things like setting screens for teammates, defending the pick-and-roll, conditioning, and not assaulting Louis Amundson.
"So do I blame Dunleavy the Coach for Zach Randolph’s stupidity on the final set? Not entirely, provided he conveyed his intentions in the huddle with the necessary clarity. I think 85% of the starting bigs in the league get Baron the space he needs on the play to get the ball and work that drive-and-kick. But I do blame Dunleavy the General Manager, for being suckered into accepting Zach Randolph and his three year/$48M contract without considering that this left-handed savant has consistently demonstrated awful judgment as a teammate, defender, and crunch time producer.
Sounds like KA is upset with Z-Bo for not being Tim Duncan
because there are not that many 20-10 guys who also play great D, set great screens, pass great, etc. Zach is what he is…a reliable post scorer who also happens to find a way to grab 10+ boards a night. Who wouldn’t want that on their team?
Were he the only player on the front line I may be concerned. But he is surrounded by some supposedly solid centers which should compensate for his deficiencies.
Z-Bo’s play has already won the Clippers a few games so far. They are a better team with him on the floor. No-brainer.
F-Elton!
Agree, mikey p
“…without considering that this left-handed savant has consistently demonstrated awful judgment as a teammate, defender, and crunch time producer.”
Judgment as a teammate: He was immature in Portland. He used bad judgment in going after Amundsen, but he apologized and it was a really bad time for him. Otherwise, he seems to have been a solid teammate, giving the Clips a lift on his arrival and carrying the load when Kaman and others were out.
Judgment as a defender: Zbo is not a good defender. The question is how you compensate for that. You know it going in, but you also know that his “left-handed savant” status puts intense pressure on the defense. Zbo’s defense is a different factor in the equation when Kaman and Camby are healthy and available.
Judgment as a crunch time producer: This is the one I find most interesting. Let’s start by remembering that FElton was not a great crunch time producer, but his defense was very valuable down the stretch, and Zbo doesn’t have that. My response to this aspect of Zbo is that I’d like to give him some other opportunities besides when the Cavs and Lebron are roaring back with all the momentum from a 19 point deficit. But let’s assume for a moment that it’s true, that Zbo lacks the verve to get and hit big shots in crunch time, and his defense is a liability. My response is, so then it’s on Kaman and Camby, along with guys like Eric Gordon and Baron Davis. Zbo will be highly productive on a regular basis, but maybe he’s the guy who gets you there and either you have a comfortable lead or he’s there right up to the moment when the seatbelts are fastened. That’s the thing about having 3 quality bigs. So maybe Zbo isn’t the guy who plays the last two minutes. So what? You’re still getting full value from him if he has put up his 20+ and 10.
He has a very significant value for the team, and it will become even clearer in the final games if all goes well, and it will be there all next year. His shortcomings, which are known and can be adjusted for, are reasons why the Clips might think twice before trading Kaman or Camby and blowing up the trio.
by citizen zhiv on Mar 12, 2009 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Crunch time performer
He rebounded the airball at the end of the Celtics game and put the Clippers ahead. And the Clippers won.
by Michael White on Mar 13, 2009 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions
You sound like a certain former President...
“You’re either with the terrorists or against them…”
Hmmm…. has anybody noticed how Jax’s presence on CN has increased noticeably since Jan 20? Perhaps he has a lot more time on his hands these days…
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" – Albert Einstein
by Another son of Mike Smith on Mar 11, 2009 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Sorry, man... but that was impossible to resist.
My real name is Oliver Stone and I track Presidential conspiracies for a living. Now I have proof that decades of Clips futility have been directed by our Commander in Chief. :-)
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" – Albert Einstein
by Another son of Mike Smith on Mar 11, 2009 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions
We need a bailout too!
Forget TARP, we need a LAC bailout. Give the citizens the money to buy out Sterling.
FA in 2010.
by ClipperChuck on Mar 12, 2009 12:26 AM PDT up reply actions
MDsr
always just has a hard time adjusting
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
haven't read it yet, but i am sure it'll be harsh...
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090311&sportCat=nba
"Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck"
Roger Sterling - Mad Men
by Lawler's Law on Mar 11, 2009 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions
thanks
I was about to search that
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
front page of espn.com....can't miss it MDsr's Gargamel-looking red face...
"Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck"
Roger Sterling - Mad Men
by Lawler's Law on Mar 11, 2009 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions
Can't say it isn't well written
BIll Simmons stuff always gets me cracking up.
Same
His actual analysis is usually off but he’s pretty funny. I actually agree with him more than usual on this article though.
FA in 2010.
by ClipperChuck on Mar 11, 2009 6:48 PM PDT up reply actions
haha
“As it turned out, the Clippers had two surprises for him Tuesday: A sold-out crowd (half rooting for LeBron, but still) and a completely healthy lineup for the first time since 1952.”
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
MDsr
I think the “Why was Taylor in?” question is being overblown today. The Clippers had a 17 point lead going into the fourth. Taylor had been on the floor for 3 minutes at the end of the 3rd, during which time the Clippers had maintained that lead. The lead stretched to 19 in the first minute of the fourth. Yes, the Cavs went on a run at that point. And MDsr did what he should do – he pulled Taylor. Taylor was on the floor for 1 minute and 43 seconds from the time the Clippers had a 19 point lead. 103 seconds. AT MOST, you could argue that he should have been pulled 23 seconds earlier when LeBron was at the line. But c’mon people – we can’t say “he has to develop the young talent” and then say “why was Taylor on the floor?” Taylor didn’t have a good game – but the fourth quarter with a big lead is a pretty good time to have him out there – it’s up to Taylor to respond, but I just don’t think you can fault the personnel decision on that one. Not if we’re being honest with ourselves.
The Kaman decision is totally different, and hard to fathom. Kaman started the fourth, came out, and then 3:45 of clock time later came back. The Clippers still had the lead. It’s worth noting that Kaman was already over his minutes limit: he was at 25, and was supposed to be under 20. Camby was around the same number of minutes at the time. One can only assume that Camby was on a shorter leash than Kaman for healthy reasons. Of the 96 total minutes, they used 92 of them, going with Thornton at the four for two brief stretches in the first half (it’s worth noting that the Clippers were plus 9 in those 4 minutes). But that was when the Cavs were also small – with Varejao and either Z or Joe Smith on the floor the entire fourth period, MDsr felt like he had to have two bigs out there. As for DJ – if people are going to scream about the mistake of having Mike Taylor on the floor, what would this place be like if DJ were in the game for the first time during a Clipper fourth quarter melt down? Obviously, the best way to avoid meltdown criticism is not to melt down, but you see my point.
Back to Kaman – so he brings him back for the stretch run with the Clippers still holding an 11 point lead, presumably because Camby’s minutes ceiling is more stringent than Kaman’s. AND THEN HE CALLS PLAYS FOR HIM! Kaman had gotten very few touches to that point, and had looked miserable on the majority of them. Why run a play for him?
Of course, it’s all fuel for the excuse engine. Kaman was rusty. Camby wasn’t 100%. Options were limited.
Kevin makes a great point on Thornton, one to which I’ve alluded before. With the LeBron assignment, the art of playing defense was removed for Al. There’s no question of, should I hedge off, should I double, should I rotate. No – assignment = LeBron – period. Kevin points out that in LeBron’s case, it’s even more straightforward – always go under screens and recover as quickly as possible. There’s no situational decision on how to play the screen-roll, nothing. Work hard, hustle, try to stop the guy, go under screens. He’s a good athlete and a hard worker. It’s worth noting that he did well in this game. Carmelo, LeBron, maybe even Pierce – let Al focus on them, and he helps on defense more than he hurts.
In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. - Elwood P. Dowd
I dunno
maybe MDsr just over thinks stuff.
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
Good points
The Taylor point seems to make sense, but didn’t it somehow feel that 1) Taylor wasn’t being effective and 2) the momentum shift had occurred. I still want to put that under the “send BD out there to earn his paycheck” category. But “overblown” is definitely correct.
On Kaman, I’d like to think that Camby was limited, but it doesn’t seem to be the reason. I think MDsr just got overexcited about having Kaman available and on the floor, and he lost his mind a little bit. The fact is that, even with guys back and playing and it being “a big game,” these guys weren’t ready to go yet. Nobody has any clue on what their roles should be. The Clipper were extremely ripe for being embarassed in just this horrendous fashion, but I think we should perhaps take the approach from the game against the Pacers, and celebrate the way that they played for 3 quarters and how they were good enough to build such a big lead against an elite team like the Cavs.
I’d also like to take a moment on the DJordan issue. I still believe that DJordan should have started the game. Obviously, Kaman couldn’t have been less effective against Ilgauskas. Camby was highly questionable and on limited minutes. Jordan is aggressive, very healthy, rebounding and blocking shots and playing well. You just put up a 64 point half by starting DJordan and Mike Taylor and having Gordon return to the lineup, before losing to the Pacers. What does that tell you? Bring energy to the beginning of the game, and try to play a whole lot better in the second half and especially the 4th quarter and down the stretch. So you go into the game and have both Kaman and Camby on limited minutes. Ilgauskas has killed Kaman many times in the past. Let DJordan have a shot at him, get through those first 5 or 6 minutes, and then bring in Kaman and then Camby. What this accomplishes is first, you’re seeing if Jordan can make a few plays. If he’s wildly overwhelmed from the start you pull him quickly, of course. But it’s also chewing up some minutes for Kaman and Camby and getting to where you’re not hitting their limits. With Kaman and Camby both at 20 minutes, or 25 max, you’re expecting Zach Randolph to go virtually the whole way, or get a bunch of minutes for Steve Novak. As a Novakian, I appreciate the thought, but I still would have preferred to see some DJordan minutes, creating availability for Camby and/or Kaman at the end of the game. But this type of “crazy idea” is exactly the type of gearshift that Dunleavy disdains.
by citizen zhiv on Mar 11, 2009 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions
On your point #1
I had my idiotic friends who are Faker fans texting me all night while I was at the game. “Good job so far” says one. “Thanks for the help” says another. Only for it to all coming crashing down, like it inevitably does these days in Clipper land. So, in some perverse way, I was able to take some solace in this gut-wrenching loss, knowing full well that Faker fans everywhere were cursing the Clips. I guess this is what it has come down to this season…minor victories within monumental losses.
On Thorton, I thought he was terrific on both ends of the floor. The best all around game I think I have ever seen him play. I guess Sterling calling him out has really lit a fire under him.
On Kaman…er Primitive Kaman. I was completely surprised that he was starting to begin with. Then, in the first quarter, Dunleavy doesn’t run one single iso play for the guy. It was actually quite refreshing to see Kaman out there roaming around, playing some D, and not commanding the ball. Although, later in the game we got to see how rusty he really was. The rust was to be expected. But having Kaman out there in crunch time was a bit of a head scratcher.
On MDsr, he is very well digging his own grave right now. As we all know, Kaman is his guy, and it was readily apparent when he inserted the Kaveman into the starting lineup. And the last play was just icing on the proverbial coffin, so to speak. He will be gone soon enough, I think. I just hope guys like Thorton, EJ and Kaman leave as well. I think this team can do some major damage in this league with the players they have now, just as long as the right system is implemented (ie. NOT with MDsr as the coach), and everyone stays relatively healthy.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Proof read...
it should read…“I just hope guys like Thorton, EJ and Kaman DON’T leave as well”.
Do or do not. There is no try.
I wouldn't call this season a dissapointment if
EJ just ballhogs for one game and scores 50. I don’t think its in his blood to just hog the ball ala Kobe 05-06, but it would definitely lift my heart up. Way WAY UP ^^
With this feat, he should win Rookie of the Year.
Yup, as crazy as this sounds, I would actually be happy about this season.
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
My Email to Bill Simmons
"I’ve never written to you before (while I read basically everything you write) and this email won’t be funny so I can’t imagine it will solicit a response, but I think your latest article on the Clippers was a little hard on Z-Bo. Zach is one of my favorite players (honestly) and I find it strange the amount of criticism he takes especially from guys like you and the editor at ClippersBlog who actually watch the Clippers play. Yes, his salary is bad, but of the guys you point out as not being trust-worthy (Randolph, Kaman, Camby and Davis) Zach is the only one who has actually performed this year. He is a legit scorer (an offensive upgrade of Brand) and while his defense leaves something to be desired, he’s not outright incompetent on D.
As for the last play last night, obviously that didn’t go well, but it was another Dunleavy failure. He has Gordon do the inbound instead of Thorton—- nevermind that Thorton has done it all year in this situation it takes on your best shooters off the floor. In hindsight, when the inbound was forced into Zach he should have known there was enough time to call another timeout and reset with a competent inbound play. Easy for me to say that the day after the fact.
Lastly, perhaps cutting Z-Bo a break for yesterday would have been warranted considering his father passed away Friday and he’s returning to Indiana today to bury him. He could have very easily (and understandably) stayed in Indiana with his family all week instead of flying to Los Angeles and back in a matter of a few days. That’s a guy who wanted to help the team (and even those that criticize him realize he had a solid game yesterday against a tough defender in Varajeo) and in that context I find it absurd to consider anything about his play yesterday lazy or selfish."
Feel free to comment on my email guys because I’m sure I won’t get it from Simmons. Perhaps I went a little over board on the issue, but the whole end of the article made me squirm.
Zach
Is not an offensive upgrade over EB. Equal perhaps, not an upgrade. I agree we should cut Zbo a bit of a break.
Equal?
Z-Bo is equal to EB of old (on offense mind you)….but Z-bo of today is an immense upgrade over EB of today on offense (and defensively they are converging). It was difficult watching EB play this year with Philly and not seeing his usual explosiveness arround the rim or his15 jumper falling with consistency. Then, he injures his shoulder and the season is over again. I just have a feeling that EB will never return to his old self (although I hope it’s not true). Z-bo, on the other hand has been nothing but consistent and is still in the prime of his career.
Do or do not. There is no try.
ZBo does spread the floor more than EB
and I would say Zach is more money around the goal. Any offensive advantage he has over EB is negated on defense, where Elton was much, much better.
F-Elton!
ZBo is better
ZBo is slightly younger….but at this point in time, ZBo is far superior than Brand. I know the 05-06 Brand would give ZBo a run for his money, but EB never really returned to form after the Achilles injury. EB was averaging 13.8pt 8.8rb on Philly, while Zbo is 21.7pt 10.5 rb. There’s really no comparison. Big men usually get better stats playing with MDSr, but still. ZBo, is superior to EB on nearly every statistical category, except blocks. EB wasn’t so clutch at the end of games either….a miss is a miss…even one several feet pass the 3pt line.
ZBo’s defense is bad, but his rebounding is actually alright. Despite his lack of jumping ability, he’s averaging 3.3 Offensive boards a game…not bad. If the guy could jump/dunk, he’d be pretty unstoppable. Unfortunately, he’s not, and we all know his limitations.
ZBo appears to play with great heart, and is a great competitor. However, due to silly, immature decisions in his early days, his reputation will not improve….unless he joins the Spurs or Lakers.
Leaving Kaman in during key offensive possessions…that was unacceptable.
This is going to be my team, and we're going to rise together.
-Clipper Darrell
Pretty good email
I would say great, but Simmons’ steady dis of Zbo is just one of many questionable points that he makes. So in analyzing and condemning his diatribe I wouldn’t focus quite so much on Zach Randolph.
Let’s start—spinning it around now—by remembering that Simmons is far from a disinterested party. The fact is that he’s a Celtic Masshole of the highest order. So everything in my #1 “heroic defeat” item about the Lakers goes triple for Simmons. For all of his “Cavs +4” chatter, no one in the building wanted the Clippers to win that game more than Simmons, for all of the wrong reasons, none of which has anything to do with his feelings about Dunleavy and Zbo. The first thought that crosses Simmons’ mind as Zach takes a bad shot and the Clippers lose is Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce getting on the plane to go play game 7 in Cleveland against superhero Lebron. He’s anxious and unhappy. He feels pain. And that pain makes me feel better. It’s just another loss and more ping pong balls for the Clippers. It was a big deal for Simmons—especially after his beloved Celtics lost to the Clippers.
It’s funny, actually, how he begins his piece by saying “I know you don’t care about this and the Clippers are completely immaterial, but I won’t rest until Mike Dunleavy is out of the NBA,” or whatever it was. But that’s not really what it’s about. It’s about how the Clippers beat the Celtics, and Lebron led a great comeback and, by winning, the Cavs helped their effort to gain home court through the playoffs.
On top of that, there are some of us who follow the Clippers very carefully and discuss their activities and woes intelligently and in great detail. So there are some of us, right here (hi everybody!), who do care, and we know what Simmons does and more. Simmons claims to speak for the fans, but he’s not really a fan. He’s a Boston fan. He thinks it’s all very simple, and the problem begins and ends with Mike Dunleavy, but he never gave the Clippers a second thought when they had horrible, talentless teams in the pre-Dunleavy era. He says “I know no one cares about the Clippers” because he used to be one of those people. But he’s relatively young and foolish and he’s a know-it-all because he does have a deep and studied knowledge of the NBA and its history, but it’s one thing to know about NBA basketball when you saw every Celtic home game as a kid during the Larry Bird era, versus being a Clipper fan. It’s like knowing a whole lot about college basketball if you grew up watching Wooden win 10 national championships at UCLA versus learning about it if you were a passionate fan of Holy Cross. Who cares about Holy Cross? Who cares about the Clippers? Just don’t pretend that you’re an infallible expert if you never went to a game in the Sports Arena and weren’t around when the Clippers drafted Bo Kimble. The Clippers are a stunningly complex equation. Simmons knows enough and has seen enough games to be an upperclassman and he’s certainly qualified for Advanced Clipper Studies, but he’s far from ready to write his dissertation yet. And he never would—he has a PhD in Celtics and is a well known authority in the field. I was trained in the study of the Victorian Novel and 19th century British intellectual history, and I would never pretend to be an infallible expert on George Hickes and Elizabeth Elstob and Septentrional studies, although I have more than a passing interest in the topic. Let’s just remember to include a big grain of salt as we consider everything that Simmons says about the Clippers.
by citizen zhiv on Mar 11, 2009 7:02 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
"And that pain makes me feel better..."
Nice.
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" – Albert Einstein
by Another son of Mike Smith on Mar 11, 2009 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions
If this is meant to be an homage to the Sports Guy, it needs work...
The KA “stinking genius” parody was brilliant. A tad ironic that he’s now our hero post Thorpe EJ-lobbying.
But instead of references to 17th century Oxfordians and Septentrions (as opposed to Meridions), you need to sprinkle in some references to the Karate Kid and reality TV shows, preferably one of the Real Worlds. So work on that.
In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. - Elwood P. Dowd
by Steve Perrin on Mar 11, 2009 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Double nice.
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" – Albert Einstein
by Another son of Mike Smith on Mar 11, 2009 10:40 PM PDT up reply actions
zhiv if you need help
with your KK references, let me know…“the enemy deserves no mercy”…eeeeyah!
"Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck"
Roger Sterling - Mad Men
by Lawler's Law on Mar 11, 2009 11:05 PM PDT up reply actions
The Cobra Kai...
In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. - Elwood P. Dowd
by Steve Perrin on Mar 11, 2009 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Unfortunately
because he hits one now and again, Zach thinks the can shoot the 3. I don’t completely blame him for that shot last night. The play was a disaster from the get-go. You call a timeout and that’s what you draw up? I like Zach better than Elton. I think he’s a better scorer. He doesn’t black shots, or rebound like EB, but Elton would disappear for stretches in games, and I think Zach is always a threat. Maybe not from 28’ when the game is on the line, but he shouldn’t have the ball in that situation that far away from the hoop. It’s taken me a while, but last night cemented me in the Anti-Dunleavy camp.
lol
Simmons was probably born to this world only for the sole purpose of taking shots at Dunleavy, but he does have some good points. Like him, I’m also dumbfounded about Dun’s choices particularly the one when he puts in a guy that hasn’t played any minutes in the most crucial time of the game (ie Novak). At least in football, the kicker gets some practice kicks on the sideline before attempting a field goal.
I think he’s a bit harsh on Randolph though. Without the guy, who knows how horrible the game could’ve become. He was saying that Zach shoots 29. This is true but this was when he was in NY. He’s actually shooting 36 with us. I also disagree about his take that Dunleavy is not letting EJ and Baron post up. I think the reason they didn’t was because they’re not comfortable in the post. I don’t think it’s their game.
"This kid is the best new talent in the league right now, and I don't care who else you mention." -Suns Coach, Alvin Gentry, on Clippers rookie sensation, Eric Gordon.
Great post Zhiv...definetly worthy of the Front Page
"Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck"
Roger Sterling - Mad Men
Nice Zhiv
Paragraph 3 was brilliant. Particularly this bit:
his inimitable style of inverse basketball, where left is right and right is left and the obvious path is up around and under
Loved that.
F-Elton!
This thread is one for the archives...
…Zhiv’s lengthy and admirable analysis, a lot of smart comments (I’m still trying to understand Jax’s opening salvo), a few left turns, some wacky thread-benders, and then a couple of long Zhivian comments tweaking his own material. My head is spinning… just like MDSr’s in last night’s fourth quarter. Straight to the archives, Elvis. THIS is gold-standard stuff.
Lets go out like the GSW
Sit everyone down and watch a team of Novak, Taylor, DJ, Chiek Samb, Ackler and any other D-leaguers. Tank city
Zhiv's follow up comments
continue to impress…my google search engine is working overtime to make sense of his references…good stuff!
"Duck, Crab. Crab, Duck"
Roger Sterling - Mad Men
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