A collection of Mike Dunleavy rants for the past year...

Yeah, you heard me. For past year or so, I've been ranting and raving over the rampant acts of stupidity that Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy performs on a nightly basis. And after last night's disaster, I just had it. So for your viewing pleasure, here's me hating on that doofaeus for the past year.  Go to for the original posts...

March 2008, after Sam Cassell's contract was bought out:

"As a fan of the Clips, it's gonna be sad to see two S's, two L's go. I mean, who's gonna take the big shot, make it AND run around gesturing that he's got, well.... huevos grandes? Can't we just fire Dunleavy and make Sam a player-coach? Bill Simmons had an article on this awhile back and I thought it would be a great idea..."

October 2008, after Elgin Baylor was let go but before I knew he was screwed over:

"As a Clipper fan, I'm glad he's gone. Of course, as a Clipper fan, I'm also ticked that his replacement is Dunleavy, the same guy who convinced Elgin to take Yaroslav Korolev over Danny Granger, Monta Ellis, David Lee, Nate Robinson, Hakim Warrick, Gerald Green, Louis Williams, Luther Head, Jason Maxiell, Brandon Bass, and Ronny Turiaf. Not that I'm bitter or anything..."

November 2008, when somebody asked why the Clips still suck despite their talent:

"Mike [expletives] Dunleavy. He sucks as a coach. Let's take a look at every argument I've heard when someone defends him...

"He got the Clippers to the second round in 2006"
- You mean the year when the REAL coach of the Clippers was Sam Cassell. Huevos Grandes and Cuttino Mobley gave them that killer instinct that they sorely needed. The next year? Dunleavy reigned them in and look what happened...

"He instilled the discipline the Clips didn't have before he came in"
- Yeah, how's the discipline working out for Baron Davis? You do realize that the reason Baron played so well in Golden State was because Nellie let him run and gun. Corey Maggette says this is messed up. Shaun Livingston (before he got hurt) never developed because he was always looking over his shoulder (granted that was also Sam's fault, but still)...

"He's shrewdly gotten us relevant players, like Baron and Sam...."
- ...and Danny Granger... oh wait, but he did draft Monta Ellis... oh, he didn't, but he did get David Lee... ah, I see, he got us Yaroslav [expletive] Koralev... and then he traded for a disgruntled Marcus Camby, gave away Corey Maggette, who actually liked playing here, and lost Elton Brand...

"He's a brilliant game manager"
- That's code for, "I play not to lose, instead of to win." That "brilliance" led him to bring in ice cold (ice cold in a haven't played in weeks way, not the ice cold assassin variety) rookie Daniel Ewing during a pressure situation and naturally left Raja Bell open for a wide open 3 that pretty much killed the Clips in 2006....

"Giving him control has gotten the Clippers to relevance"
- I think we all know now that Elgin Baylor wasn't as incompetent of a GM that we all thought. Sure, he bungled some picks over the years (Jerry West did draft Drew Gooden over Amare all those years ago. Nobody's perfect), but he had to deal with a bunch of idiots with more juice (owner Donald Sterling and Dunleavy, who must be blackmailing Sterling somehow). He didn't always get to take the players he wanted..."

December 2008, in another "why do the Clippers suck" talk...

"Mike Dunleavy, head coach AND general manager (the only one in the league who has both titles), is an idiot. His personnel decisions have covered the entire spectrum of absurdity, from the asinine (playing slow ball with Baron Davis, who has shown he plays his best when its uptempo), to the incomprehensible (getting Zach Randolph, winner of the worst NBA play I have ever seen, and not having some sort of plan to trade Kaman or Camby or Randolph again for some backcourt help), and the just plain stupid (the 2005 NBA draft where he undermined Elgin Baylor and took Korolev instead of Granger, Lee, Ellis, etc...). How he has a job is beyond me..."

December 2008, when Stephen Jackson was campaigning to bring Baron Davis back to Golden State...

"If Captain Jack wants Baron back, they should bring Baron back. I believe in Captain Jack...

Better yet, the Clippers should trade for Captain Jack and fire Dunleavy. I don't care if they have to move Randolph or Kaman or even Thorton or Gordon. My favorite player not named Gilbert Arenas would be in LA. I'd order my authentic Captain Jack jersey right away. Good times..."

February 2008, when there was talk of bad coaching...

"I thought this was going to be a Mike Dunleavy thread. Oops..."

February 2008, when talking about this season's rookies...

"Eric Gordon has one of the prettiest jump shots ever. The arc on those babies is so nice. I do worry that he's picking up bad habits being on a Mike Dunleavy coached squad...

Didn't people once upon a time compare DeAndre Jordan to Amare? I don't see him enough to get a real assessment of his game, but I'd rather see what he can do rather than waste time and money on Zach Randolph. Seriously, Dunleavy, Zach Randolph? God...

Did they send Mike Taylor to D-League yet? Good one, Dunleavy..."

March 2009, after finding out that owner Donald Sterling tore into the players and players didn't give a crap....

"A couple of things to take from this article...

- I'm shocked Sterling knew how to get to the locker room
- I'm shocked he might even know half his roster
- I'm shocked that he might actually give a damn that his team sucks (I'm guessing he was just bored)
- I'm not shocked the players don't care (see: Al Thorton)
- I'm not shocked by this quote:

"Sterling ripped into the players and expressed confidence in coach/general manager Mike Dunleavy, putting the team's future in Dunleavy's hands."

Dunleavy must have something on Sterling. It has to be the only that he hasn't been fired yet. I mean, I know Sterling is cheap, but doesn't he watch the games? Does he not understand the reason the Clippers are so horrifyingly bad is because of Dunleavy? Does he not realize that this team quit on their coach like a few games into the season? This team should be a run and gun squad that takes advantage of the fact that they have one of the 5 best point guards in the NBA, two young stars looking to break out (Gordon and Thorton), and Ricky freaking Davis, and the rules are catered to high-scoring wing players? I mean, really? Really? Not since Dan Dickau have I ever been so appalled with anybody in basketball. And I won't even go all of the moronic decisions that Dunleavy has made over the years, not the least of which was the pushing out of Elgin Baylor, who although wasn't the best GM, deserved so much better than the degrading way he was let go. If anybody deserves the blame for all of this, it's Dunleavy. Douche...."

And finally yesterday, after LeBron eviscerated them and came back from a 20-point deficit...

"As a fellow LA Examiner and Clipper fan, I just have one piece of advice in order for the team to get better.

Fire Mike Dunleavy

That's it, fire Dunleavy. Fire him as the coach, ditch him as the GM and the Clippers will be better for it. This is the man who gave us Yaroslav Korolev over Danny Granger (or David Lee or Monta Ellis or Nate Robinson, etc.), used an ice-cold Daniel Ewing in probably the most important possession in franchise history, turned down an Allen Iverson-Shaun Livingston swap, and now this abomination of a season. How he still has a job is beyond me. I hope Donald Sterling realizes that with this terrible economy that not even the most dedicated Clipper fan is going to continue to pay to watch this pathetic excuse for a team. A team that on paper, has one of the 5 best point guards in the game, one of the best defensive centers, and a rookie gunner with All-Star talent. How that combination of skill doesn't translate to a high scoring, Mike D'Antoni-like offense is beyond me. Oh wait, I do know, it's because Dunleavy locks his players down with a buckle down offense that doesn't even work. That 2006 playoff run just seems like ages ago, doesn't it?"

And as a bonus, I got Charles Barkley to comment on the situation (and by "Charles Barkley," I mean I took an educated guess as to how he would talk about the Clippers' situation)...

"First of all, the Clippers stink. They always been bad. Second of all, you gotta take your hat off to Coach Brown and the Cavs, they had a hell of a comeback. But Zach had 6.6 seconds. Lemme tell you something, he shouldn't have even been in the game, Marcus Camby is a better player. First of all, he should have taken to the hole instead of dribbling out clock and taking a bad 3. He had 3 airballs during the game. He has no business being out there on the perimeter. I'ma tell you this, Kenny, Baron Davis should have had the ball in that situation. He is one of the 5 best point guards in the game today. You know, Mo Williams, he pretty good too. But first of all, LeBron is a stud, hell of a player. Oh my goodness, the Clippers are bad. Loy Vaught is rolling over his grave. Pooh Richardson is rolling over his grave."

Damn you, Mike Dumbleavy...

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