I was out of town and came back today at noon, with plenty of time leading up to the draft, and I had a chance to read Simmons’ article on the Clippers, the Buffalo Braves/Native American curse, all of the bad times, run for the hills Blake, etc.

And I think I figured out his approach.

Maybe it’s something we already knew. But the Clippers are very important to Bill Simmons. Let me say it again: VERY important.

He is using them, quite obviously, to be able to pose as a knowledgable NBA writer and live in LA, all while hating the Lakers as his arch-nemesis, and being a huge Boston Celtics fan. It’s a pretty smart strategy. And he has found his stalking horse in MDSr., not to mention all of the other amusing characters in Clipperdom. I give him some credit for being a student of the league (not so hard when you’re a latter day Celtic fan, not old enough to remember Bob Cousy or Bill Russell or any of the original greats) and writing a nice story on the Original EB’s phenomenal record as a player.

The Simmons angle is all about Los Angeles. It’s a media center. His act wouldn’t play as large any place else—he can’t go to New York. There aren’t a lot of place he would fit. If he goes to a nice town like Austin he becomes like Chad Ford or Mark Stein and maybe he makes it on his books, maybe not. But as long as he stays in LA as part of the Kimmel spin off gang, he’s got his hand in the game. And so he’s been smart, riding the Clippers for a while now, a vituperative, annoying and not especially helpful and supportive voice. His act on MDSr is very tired, and not sophisticated or subtle in any way. MDSr. bought himself some new life with the Griffin pick (although Dunleavy certainly didn’t look very lifeless in his interview tonight—he looked like old school Irish thug, a character that Simmons should be quite familiar with from Boston), and that’s just the way things are. Doc Rivers bought himself some new life with Garnett and Ray Allen.

Simmons is funny and smart and sometimes I like him. But from the Clipper perspective he’s a real pain, as bad and cancerous as Nikki Finke is on the Hollywood beat—there’s a blogger reference that Simmons might be able to appreciate. He should do himself a favor and try to be a little more positive and thoughtful. Don’t be scared, BS. It’s just the Clippers. They’re not going to hurt you. You can be smart and thoughtful about them, and try to say things that make sense. All of your fear and loathing just makes you seem like a scared Laker hater, a typical Masshole. But that’s probably the point, and you probably come by your limitations honestly. Still, if you want to make it in LA, and that’s the point, let yourself go a bit. Give the Clips a little credit, a break. Maybe you can be the one who starts writing about DeAndre Jordan, or who pushes the ESPN “experts” to realize that Eric Gordon is a superior player. Less “it’s the Clippers, Blake” comedy, more thinking and analysis.