LeBron James: Some Questions

Here are some questions for LeBron James as he has decided to join the Miami Heat:

1) What the Hell? – You leave Cleveland on national television? They BURNED YOUR JERSEYS AND PUBLICLY CRIED AFTER THAT. That was kind of a dick move. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, onto the real questions.

2) Do you really think Miami is the best place to win? – It can't be. They're the third best team in the East right now, at best. Chicago isn't even done yet. Miami could end up being the fourth best team based on that. Dwight Howard will eat this team alive in ways that only Brian Skinner could ever even dream of. Chris Bosh is not guarding Dwight Howard. That is a recipe for being Skynyrd. And there are plenty of teams in the West that are potentially better than this Heat team. What if Greg Oden suddenly becomes consistently healthy? The Portland Trailblazers are now better than the Heat. Kevin Durant and Russel Westbrook will bring the Thunder down upon this team. Luck the Fakers, but they are probably better, too. Even our beloved Clips are potentially better than this team, pending the in-season development of some young players. 

Let's recap: The Magic, Celtics, and possibly Bulls are better than his professed "best team for winning." The Lakers, Clippers(?Hope Clipper Nation! Hope!), Thunder, Mavericks, Trailblazers, Rockets (Yao Ming is back), Suns, and Spurs could all beat this team. So this leads to another question...

3) Why then, if not to win? – Personally, I think LeBron and his bros wanted to kick it in South Beach with Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and their respective bros. This is understandable. Broing it up is fun, especially somewhere like Miami. But could it have been the all-star potential of their entire starting three? Maybe Michael Beasley has some really good weed or something (hey, seems likely to me). Who knows why, except for LeBron.

Some basketball related questions:

4) Who dribbles? – LeBron and DWade are both the sort of guys who dribble up the court. They are "creators" for their teams. How does this work when they are on the same team? Who plays point guard, and how do they feel about being the THIRD option for dribbling? And Bosh likes to hold the basketball plenty on his own. This seems like it could end badly in terms of team chemistry.

5) Who plays center? – Who is guarding the Howards, Perkinses, Bynums (eww. Bynum.), Kamans, and other true centers? Shaq? Bosh? This Heat team will be weak on the inside. Darko Milicic could even beat this team up. (Well, maybe not him.) There aren't very many true centers left, and none of them will sign for the minimum, so that sucks for you, LeBron.

That's all I have. Let's have fun watching every team gun for these guys until they get injured by some D-Leaguer. Or until they lose to Orlando in the first round of the playoffs. 

We can have even more fun watching the Clippers beat this team. Who do they have playing PG? Doesn't matter, unless they pull off a trade, their guy isn't better than Baron Davis. Eric Gordon will tire Dwyane Wade out on the defensive end, and he's a capable defender himself. Al-Farouq Aminu is long enough and fast enough to pester LeBron James, which should be enough. For all his gifts, I'm not sure Chris Bosh can match up physically with Blake Griffin. And unnamed center will be beaten by Chris Kaman's skillz and DeAndre Jordan's power/freakish athleticism. 

Basically, I can't see anyway this turns out well for LeBron, at least for the upcoming season. Especially not the game(s) in Quicken Loans Arena. Those could get ugly.

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