I thought that that it would be prestigious to say that I had made the cut and written for Bleacher Report (BR), a forum that would broadcast my talent in Clipper analysis to the entire world. I could put that on my resume and look professional, hopefully helping me get a job when I graduated, despite the fact that BR continually publishes content that is of lower quality than any other news source.
In fact, I thought that that would play into my favor when I applied. So I wrote what I felt was a beautiful article on the five changes that the Clipper organization should make in order to contend for a championship. I even catered to the Bleacher Report style, keeping my arguments as simple as possible and listing them point-by-point. The cherry on the top was the set of carefully chosen pictures that I included for each frame, as suggested in the application procedure.
But unfortunately, my efforts were met with a swift rejection:
In your particular case, the writing sample you submitted for review failed to satisfy the requirements to which we hold all applicants.
The reasons that I can think of for my rejection are:
- I lacked professional experience (I'm still an undergraduate)
- My sample was too long (about 550 words without captions; suggested 250-500)
- My style was too ornate
- My article was not newsy enough
- My analysis was passionate or technical
- Despite my efforts, my story was not sensationalistic.
In any case, this ends my prospective career at BR!
I thought it would be only fitting to seek consolation at a place where the forum is held in such low esteem.
Has anyone else a similar experience or funny story about BR?