Brandon Calling - With Apologies to Joe Strummer and Mick Jones

by Steve Perrin on Mar 23, 2008 7:39 PM PDT in News

You may recall that there was a bet attached to this weekend's Blazer games. If the Blazers swept both games, we the citizens of ClipsNation would owe a song in praise of the Blazers. Now, when I made that bet, I assumed that the Clippers would suit up, say, greater than 6 players who weren't waived within the last month. And BlazerDave actually took pity on us and offered to carry the bet over to next season, since no one really wants to win in an unfair fight. But a bet is a bet, and besides, this Blazers team is indeed worthy of song.

Now, evidently when the BE folks do this, they sort of collaborate and add lines and work together. I'm not sure how that would work. So I just went ahead and wrote my song. If you have additions, suggestions, improvements, add them to the comments. If you want to write a song of your own, go for it. If you think this is all a little silly, well, I won't argue that point.

But with apologies to Mick Jones and the late Joe Strummer and everyone in the legendary Clash, here is the world premiere of 'Brandon Calling', sung to the tune of 'London Calling'.

Brandon Calling to the Trailblazer fans
The future is now, so get in the stands
Brandon calling to the NBA World
Another big banner, will soon be unfurled
Brandon calling, now don't look at us
All the phony Z-Bo-mania has bitten the dust
Brandon calling and I don't wanna shout
But after we jumped you, you called a time-out

CHORUS
Greg Oden is coming, and Rudy's zooming in
Phoenix stopped running, the Spurs are growing thin
The West is a terror, but Dallas has fear
Brandon is calling - and I live by the (Williamette) river

Brandon calling at the top of the key
Aldridge is LaMonster, as anyone can see
Brandon calling see we ain't got no flaws
Travis is clearly the best of Outlaws
Brandon calling, yeah, I was there too
Przybilla and Webster are players it's true
Brandon calling from the three point line
We've got talent already, cap space in '09

CHORUS

Brandon calling step back from the ledge
You folks of ClipsNation, just read Blazer's Edge
Brandon calling the name is Brandon Roy
Come out of the cupboard all you girls and boys

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Aldridge is LaMonster

A million points for that line.

1/2 point for "Przybilla and Webster are players it's true."

Nice job Steve.

by Citizen Roy G Biv on Mar 24, 2008 8:17 AM PDT reply actions

i liked

"travis is clearly the best of outlaws"
i can't believe you pulled that out of your uh fingertips so fast but i'm sure that was more fun than analyzing the effectiveness of the smush parker josh powell pick and roll.

by cabezadeknuckle on Mar 24, 2008 10:28 AM PDT reply actions

It wrote itself

Once I picked Brandon Calling, it was pretty easy... I'm kind of hoping that LaMonster catches on.

by Steve Perrin on Mar 24, 2008 10:33 AM PDT up reply actions

now you have to write something for the clippers

the only thing that comes to mind is to the tune of police on my back as in "losing monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday. our season is done. our season is do-one."

by cabezadeknuckle on Mar 24, 2008 11:46 AM PDT reply actions

No mention of Nate McMillan?

I think he is the reason for this year's success. Excellent coach.

Could you not have done more with "Pryzbilla?" Calling him a player was a stretch.

Just ball-busting. I really liked it.

by mp on Mar 24, 2008 12:12 PM PDT reply actions

McMillan is an ommission...

He should be there for sure. He's a big part of their success. Przybilla coming off a 14/25 game deserved something, I felt. Once you start mentioning specific players, the question is where to draw the line. I semi-consciously had Webster and Przybilla ranked ahead of Jack and Blake as guys I think are likely to be a part of the team's future, if only as the back-up center.

by Steve Perrin on Mar 24, 2008 12:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Doh! I forgot about Jack

plenty of possibilities with that name. I leave it to you.

by mp on Mar 24, 2008 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions

clipper song

okay clipper steve here is my song for the clippers with apologies to sinatra and dunleavy who i left out.

It's quarter to three
There's no one left at Staples `cept you and me
So set `em up Joe
I got a little story, I think you may know

We're drinking my friend
To the end of a season of woe
`Cause it's 12 wins at Staples
And nine wins on the road

Start of the year
Heard some optimism, mixed in with the fear
But now it's so bad
Even when he says Bingo, Ralph Lawler sounds sad

Kaman's game was profound,
But now he walks around like he's 90 years old
`Cause it's 12 wins at Staples
And nine wins on the road

You'd never know it, cause the record doesn't show it
But I thought Brand and Livingston would both be
Running and jumping, and even chest pumping
Instead they have the same points per game as me.

I know it's been said
Everything Sterling touches somehow turns to lead
And I'm sorry to pout
But now it looks like Corey, might really opt out

And this team I support
Came up shorter than ol' Mugsey Bogues
`Cause it's 12 wins at Staples
And nine wins on the road

That long, long road.

by cabezadeknuckle on Mar 24, 2008 7:33 PM PDT reply actions