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The Dot Offense

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Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson, who has run the Triangle offense for all of his 16 seasons as an NBA coach and used it to win a record 9 NBA Titles, announced today that the Lakers are no longer running the Triangle.  Instead they have switched to the 'Dot' offense.

"It's really about simplicity" Jackson said.  "The reason the Triangle has been so successful for us is because of the pureness of form, the simplicity of the geometry.  The Dot offense is just a logical evolution.  After all, what's more simple than a Dot?  It's all very Zen."

When asked if this new offense wasn't just an excuse to give the ball to Kobe Bryant on every play, Jackson became agitated.  "Nothing could be further from the truth.  Look, there are five players on a basketball team, but a triangle only has three points.  The Triangle can be formed with any three players at a time.  It's no different with the Dot offense.  Any one of the five players can be the Dot.  This is a very sophisticated offensive scheme that relies on every team member knowing his role - it's not just one-on-one basketball!"

When it was pointed out that in the 5 games since the Lakers started running the Dot Bryant has taken 173 shots, three times as many as any other Laker (Lamar Odom, 58), Jackson praised his superstar.  "Kobe is a very intelligent basketball player.  He grasped the nuances of the Dot almost immediately.  He is already very comfortable in the offense.  I wasn't sure we'd be able to unveil it this quickly, but Kobe has an almost innate understanding of the Dot.  I'm hoping that the other players will soon be as comfortable being the Dot as Kobe already is."  

Asked for comment, Bryant had this to say: "When Coach first mentioned the concept of the Dot to me I was intrigued.  It made perfect sense to me; I mean, why wouldn't everybody do this?  It really opens things up, not having to worry about what your teammates are doing.  In the Triangle, if someone's out of position, it doesn't work.  See, you have to make Triangles.  But with the Dot, there's nothing to break down.  That's the beauty part."

Longtime Jackson assistant coach and sometime Laker consultant Tex Winter, the Father of the Triangle offense, had this to say about the Dot:  "What a load of horse s***!"