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What's the Deal With the Euros and the Babes?

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I understand that basketball players make a lot of money.  And they tend to be large men.  As Inga said in 'Young Frankenstein' as they discussed the need for a large subject for re-animation: "He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker."  So I get that.

But American ballers tend to end up with every day, garden variety, super hot women.  I mean, Vanessa Bryant looks good, but before she was Vanessa Bryant she was Vanessa nobody from Garden friggin' Grove.

The Euros, on the other hand, land lingerie models, TV stars and beauty pageant winners.

  • Tony Parker - Eva Longoria - star of 'Desperate Housewives' and pretty damn hot if somewhat annoying.
  • Mehmut Okur - Yeliz Okur - former Miss Turkey.
  • Andrei Kirilenko - Masha Lopatova - Russian pop star, and most understanding wife in the world.
  • Peja Stojakovic - Aléka Kamilá - Greek fashion model.
  • Marko Jaric - Adriana Lima - Victoria's Secret model.
And all of the above are, like, done deals.  These aren't one-night stands.  They're all MARRIED with the exception of Jaric, who is engaged.

Seriously, what's the deal here?  I mean, sure, Tony Parker is a fine looking man.  (BTW, I'm not gay, though I have been said to have a 'certain quality'.  Let's just say I like musical theater more than the average person, and I tend to know where the ottoman goes.)  But these other guys?  Marko Jaric?  He's truly frightening looking.  His eyes are positively rodentian.  He scares my children when he's at the free throw line.

Can't these women find soccer players?