Bill Simmons unloads pretty good on Dunleavy and breaks down the most famous Clippers fans in his chat today.
I agree, due to Mike Dunleavy, I like basketball just a little bit less than I used to.
It's a pretty long chat, so I just pasted the Clippers portion underneath.
Dave, Kansas City: After the Clippers fiasco Wednesday night against Chicago, how can Dunleavy still be employed? As a season ticket holder you should organize a deep ops mission to get the pictures he must possess. I'd help but as a Royals season ticket holder I'm looking through the Walmart files to get the dirt on David Glass.
Bill Simmons: I want to cover this in more detail at another point...
Bill Simmons: But how the Clippers have treated their season ticketholders by NOT firing a complete fraud by Dunleavy, coupled with Dunleavy's total unwillingness to accept any responsibility whatsoever for this crappy season and/or a roster of players who actively hate him ... I mean, it's honestly one of the most depressing sports-related situations I have ever seen. Mike Dunleavy, I like sports less than I did 3 months ago - just a little, but still - because of you.
Bill Simmons: You should quit. Have the dignity to step down as coach. Keep your GM job and continuing making bad moves. The Clips fans don't care - they are smart enough to know that Sterling will never fire you because he's too cheap. But don't keep going out there with your crappy gray suits and pretending that these players are listening to you. I have been to 11 or 12 games this year - the fans hate you, the players hate you, we all want you to go. Do the dignified thing and step down. Hand the team over to Kim Hughes.
Bill Simmons: And by the way, you might be a nice guy and a great family guy - if you are, that;s fantastic. I just know that this specific Clippers team, and this specific fan base (small, but still), thinks you're awful at your job and wants you to leave. So do it. You are stealing money from the team.
Bill Simmons: Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. My tickets cost $340 for a pair and I get to go watch Baron Davis jog up and down for 20 minutes a night looking like he just smelled a horrible fart. It's so much fun.
Jimbo, Brooklyn: So, are you the most famous Clippers fan? If so, how does that make you feel?
Bill Simmons: Billy Crystal is the clear No. 1. Penny Marshall is 2nd. She's also third - have you seen her lately? She's gigantic. I think I am 4th. There is no 5th.
Bill Simmons: And by the way, that's a distant 4th.
Rob (Portland, OR): You're sitting on the bowl right now, aren't you?
Bill Simmons: No comment.
Josh (Hoboken, NJ): Next podcast guest: Mike Dunleavy?
Bill Simmons: Absolutely. I would love to have him. Consider this an official invite. And I will absolutely ask him how it feels to steal money from a professional sports team every week.
brad (detroit): I think that Malcolm in the Middle kid is a Clippers fan.
Bill Simmons: Nope. He moved and gave up his seats. I just thought about it some more - Cash Warren and Jessica Alba have season tix and came to a game last week. That bumps me to 6th. Cash Warren is in Us Weekly every week - and his dad is Mike Warren, and he's married to Alba. That kills my resume. I mean, his Dad has Fast Break AND White Shadow on his IMDB. And he won titles with Kareem at UCLA!
Nick (Seattle, WA): I have Zach Randolph, Chris Kaman, DeAndre Jordan, and Fred Jones on my terrible fantasy team. My worst fantasy team ever. I actually "signed" Fred Jones while he was still under his 10-day contract with the Clips. I feel a special kinship with the Clippers this year. I'm from Seattle, I enjoy the torture.
Bill Simmons: I gotta say - Dunleavy gets props for the Gordon/Jordan picks. But were good values for where they got them. Does it make up for Yaro Koralev over Danny Granger? of course not! Not in a million years. But Jordan is probably my favorite Clip. He really tries out there... he gives a crap. Gordon could go either way... he's developing bad habits carrying a bad team which scares me. Same for Mayo in memphis actually. Of all the rooks, Kevin Love is in the best situation right now...
Paul (Oak Park, IL, formerly Portland): I always did get the impression that Dunleavy was a good guy when he was in Portland. My parents used to see he and his family at church and had a good impression of them. That said, I don't know WHAT the heck he's doing in LA.
Bill Simmons: Stealing.