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From the Archives: Donald Sterling Apologizes

In 2014, the New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz satirized Donald Sterling’s non-apology for his terrible private comments. The piece holds up in a very ironic way.

Memphis Grizzlies v San Antonio Spurs - Game One Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

We all remember Donald Sterling’s impressively disastrous ability to make being a Clippers fan as hard as possible. This talent, of course, culminated in racist private comments, which were made public by one of his close “advisors.”

Although the Clippers did not finish the season how they had hoped, I believe it is safe to say we came out of the situation as well as possible with the removal of Sterling from ownership and the arrival of Steve Ballmer.

With this closure in mind, I would like to revisit a funny article that was not very funny at the time, given that the wounds were still fresh. The satirical article came from the New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz, and it surprisingly topical for something that was written in 2014.

Check out an excerpt below:

Remember: This is satire; not meant to be taken literally or maliciously.