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2015-16 Exit Interview: Larson Ishii

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Unfortunately (or fortunately), Larson Ishii is leaving Clips Nation this offseason and we wish him the best.

Name: Larson Ishii

Nickname: "The Prince Who Was Promised", "The Mad King," "The Usurper," "The First of His Name", "Snow"

Age: 22 (Turns 23 June 18)

Position: Currently Editor in Chief during this Reign of Terror in Lucas Hann's absence

Career Stats: 99 Posts and 2307 Comments (all snarky)

2015-16 Salary: Enough to feed his massive ego

Contract Status: Opting out for something much better

Summary:

Larson Ishii is the J.J. Redick of the Clips Nation staff. Maybe he doesn't post as many articles as others, and maybe he doesn't have the highest star quality, but he probably has the best hair when maintained and the influence Larson has on this website's success cannot go unrecognized (and it's too bad his "Supple Wrists" Clips Nation Podcast will never happen). As successful and entertaining as Larson has been, his basketball passion forced him to take a job that no longer allows him to work and post and comment for Clips Nation -€” he's accepted a position in the NBA's legal department, which is why he's getting an exit interview. Originally an agreement was made for a sign-and-trade, alas, that was vetoed for non-basketball reasons.

Strengths:

The real strength of Larson comes not from his quality writing and articles, but his wit and condescending comments buried underneath articles. Seriously, this guy undermines others with passive comments better than anybody. Maybe that's what four years of attending Harvard will get you, because he definitely spent more time scouring over the comment section than attending class.

Larson joined SB Nation a little less than two years ago. Including the leap day this year, he's averaged 3.35 comments per-day -€” talk about advanced analytics. Lucas definitely comments more per-day, but his CER (Comment Efficiency Rating) isn't the same. Larson only comments to win, even when the other person doesn't know they are in head-to-head battle. This unrivaled passion to one-up the other person comes from his true strength, his knowledge in the CBA.

Larson, FOR FUN, read the NBA's Collective Bargaining Agreement, which is synonymous for "the worst time ever."  If close enough to the man, you'll get texts saying "I think I found a loophole, does this check out," then he'll use such big words in consecutive order that saying "I think so," is the only possible answer to supply.

This thorough investigation Larson gives every sentence is one of the many reasons he got this job. Now we know who to blame if the 2016-17 season locks out.

Weaknesses:

Larson's brain constantly works, searching for ideas that nobody has ever thought of, which sounds like a good thing, but let me give you an example for why its not.

Just last week he texted me asking "what if the NBA allowed players who didn't make the playoffs to be drafted by other teams, but the draft starts before the playoffs, and it they can only play the round after they were eliminated?" If that's the type of forward thinking the NBA is looking for, then The Association is in trouble.

Every now and then a decent one will pass through his noggin, but sporadic at best.

Future: Perhaps this section should be written by him. I'll let him take over, but first I want to say thank you.

Thank you, for all you have done for this website. I'm writing on this website because of you and you've provided thought provoking statements for all of the readers here. Just don't forget your favorite plebeians now that you are big time.

***Larson Ishii here:

Hi all of Clips Nation:

I truly do want to thank each and everyone one of you who spend your precious time participating with this site in any way possible, whether it's just as readers, commentors, fan post-ers, rumor spreadors, or fellow staff -- all that you do has been beyond amazing. Clips Nation is easily the best Clippers site on the interwebs, and it's because of the contributions from all of you. I'm so proud to have worked and made friend with many people on this site that have helped to hone and sharpen my basketball acumen.

I started out many years ago strictly as a lurker -- I only read the great things the people on here were writing, but I did so religiously, everyday. Then I graduated to a commentor, and Steve Perrin gave me the chance to start writing on the site about the CBA and the Clippers. Then I became an columnist and editor, and now interim editor-in-chief, so I guess I climbed the mountain, which is probably a good place to go out -- on top. This site gave me a platform and is a large reason why I got the job with the NBA (I'm guessing). So thanks to all of you for making Clips Nation happen, because it has literally helped to change my life. This will be my last post here for a long time. Take care of it while I'm gone.

Favorite Moment: Writing the recap for Game 7 against the San Antonio Spurs from last year. The "Point God" game was one of the greatest performances I've ever seen from a basketball player, on one goddamn leg to boot. It was an honor to try and encapsulate that type of grit and effort and victory into words.

And now: My Watch Has Ended. Thank You and Farewell